byte-smasher’s domain

That about sums up my feelings toward this site at the moment.  It shall possibly become of use once my album is done, but for now, it lays wasted. If anyone actually checks back here occasionally to see if I’ve posted, please comment so I know whether it’s worth my time to continue posting occasionally. I’m fairly sure most of the people who would be interested in seeing me post here interact with me on facebook a fair bit as it is.

Facebook. The death of the personal website. My creative energies are falling on blind eyes.

“Niggy Tardust was a man with an extraordinary plan
to infect the masses, and their comatose asses

their minds had gone astray from their essence and so they
were listening to charlatans, submitting to decay

he thought ‘if only I could catch their eyes
I’d tell them that they mattered, and that they should deny
the lies that they’ve been spoon-fed since our culture went awry

to all the things they disagree, they should loudly reply
to commands of the cash machine, they shouldn’t dare comply

they should discard their pointless fears and reclaim all their rights
they should wake up to their unity, and they should cease to fight

they should listen to themselves and realize that they’re alright
they should support their own views instead of caving in to fright

maybe then we could dismantle institutions that enslave us
and demote the silly, angry men we let indoctrinate us

and maybe then, just maybe, we could find a love of all
that negated every border… that tore down every wall

and nobody would be on guard, just waiting for a fall
we’d all support each other
   and what’s more

we’d cease to blindly poison, rape and destroy all our land
we’d only take what we could hold in the palm of our hand
we’d share the rest, and work to build a green technology
and greed would cease to be because we’d no longer envy
and security would rest upon the global sense of love
and knowing that it doesn’t matter what lies after or above’

and so, brave Niggy Tardust, he went out into the world
and instead of simply preaching, being sheppard to the herd
he became a good example of the person you should be
and infected many asses
and that many includes me
and I woke up to a knowledge that my words, they really count
though the odds of changing everything are quite hard to surmount
every one I touch with my ideas slightly changes
and change spreads fairly quickly
like a virus, it’s contagious
and though this rhyme may seem a bit cliche and quite outrageous
I hope that it will stick with you, and make you more courageous
’cause Niggy’s only one person, and with me, that makes two
but add you in, and that makes three, from there you can imbue
your newfound sense of self purpose to many more anew”

and from that funny bit of prose, the idea it just grew
and this is how the world did change, from just a few that knew
that a global shift in consciouses was well, well overdue
and now we pass the torch along, my child, it goes to you

Hold on
Let my find my voice
It’s inside
it’s internalized
but I’m here, outside, not institutionalized
I need to externalize
my thoughts and feelings
my inner being
need to rhyme my reason
for the rest of you
I need to posess you
you see, now’s the season of my blossoming
blooming into a creature of meaning
I’m tired of thoughts screaming
“LET ME OUT”

I need YOU to hear me
don’t fear me
just feel me
I need you to know what it’s like for me to be me
me being me
kinda like you being you
but are you?
do you even know how to be?
you see I see the face that you hold up for society
hiding behind layers of sameness
conformity
when inside your soul is screaming to get out of your shell
out of your everyday plain jane establishment hell
well it’s easy
you’re nothing but a vessel of being
turn your focus to extracting all your personal meaning
shed your brainwashing
it’s nothing but a poisonous skin
dig deep down to bring your essence out from within
you need to hold that shit up
for the whole world to see
and then and only then will you begin to be free
free from the tyranny of social prisons that we live in
the limits we impose on ourselves when trying to fit in
to a society that doesn’t quite want to understand
I’ll tell you right now, that it’s controlled by the man
with the gold hoarding hand
who doesn’t care about the suffering or pain in the land
he’s playing a game
and it’s not about winning or losing
his peons shape social thought patterns subliminally
to control what you’re doing
through well placed lies and deceptions that sound convincing enough
seem harmless enough
so there’s no point in looking them up
and finding out they just don’t measure up
to reality
so finally you see that the steadiness of your mentality
has a fundamental fatality
a lack of neutrality
you don’t need “normality” to keep up your vitality
just a sense of morality based on your own rationality
not the bigotry and brutality of the bourgeoisie
so please
reclaim your repressed sexuality and creativity
and ignore the masses
they see the world through comatose glasses
your own senses surpass that which has been spoon fed to their lazy minds
please leave mainstream newspapers, TV, pop magazines, and drugs behind
use objectivity to get your wayward head realigned
strive to find a joy of a rational kind
then and only then will you no longer be blind

then maybe you can find
your voice
…. it’s inside ….
and externalize your thoughts and feelings
your inner being
there is a rhyme to your reason
…. right now it’s your season

and despite what you believe
the ones who push you down have a fear
it becomes quite clear when you don’t adhere to their subtly programmed doubt
there’s this one thing they’d hoped you’d NEVER find out
and this is why I’m intervening
because you need to know
that you
are a creature of meaning

A one act play by Shaun Winters

Characters

Paranoia & Reason (Incarnate?)

Scene

Paranoia is sitting, slouched on a couch, facing the audience. Reason is sitting at a dinner table to the right of the couch, drinking some tea. The dinner table has a small plate of cookies on it. To the left of the couch there is a bed with a suitcase on it, and a dresser full of clothing. There is a coffee table in front of the couch with a coffee cup and a loaded pistol on it.

PARANOIA (Speaking with a fake English accent) You know they’re watching us, right?
REASON What?
PARANOIA Right now, they’re watching us!
REASON Of course they are… that’s what they do. They watch!
PARANOIA That doesn’t concern you?
REASON Why should it? If watching is what they do, and they’re watching, then what’s the problem?
PARANOIA Well, the problem is that they’re watching us!
REASON Why is that a problem?
PARANOIA Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable that we’re being watched?
REASON I’m not sure… should it?
PARANOIA I think it should!
REASON But……. Aren’t we here for them to watch?
PARANOIA Oh…. I never really thought of it that way…… (pause for 30 seconds) Hold on a second… Why are we here for them to watch?
REASON Because that’s what we do
PARANOIA Since when?
REASON Since forever? I don’t know! … Why are you asking such paranoid questions anyway? Have you been drinking coffee again?
PARANOIA (Hiding the coffee cup in the couch) I have not! I was just thinking that it’s a tad bit odd that they would be sitting there watching us! I mean, why would anyone want to watch us sit here?
REASON Perhaps they find us entertaining!
PARANOIA Entertaining? What could possibly be entertaining about 2 people sitting here bantering about nothing in particular? I’m telling you, there’s absolutely nothing entertaining about us!
REASON Oh…………….. Why are you talking in an English accent, by the way?
PARANOIA (Dropping accent, Startled) Uhh… well it’s more interesting than when I talk like this, isn’t it?
REASON The plot thickens!
PARANOIA Oh come on… what else am I supposed to do? There’s nothing else to do here, (Regaining accent) so I might as well play the part!
REASON Really? I’d think if you didn’t like the part you were playing, you’d change it.
PARANOIA (Dropping accent) Well it’s what they want to see, isn’t it?
REASON Is it? …… Since when are they in charge anyway? It seems to me that they’re watching us. As such, we do have a bit of control over what they see. If we don’t like our part, we can just change it. They’ll be none the wiser.
PARANOIA I disagree… It’s all laid out for us. I mean, look at this gun here! Chances are, no matter what else happens, that gun is going to go off. It will probably be aimed at one of us… which means at least one of us is going to die. It’s inevitable. There’s even a chance that neither of us will get out alive! Why else would the gun be here?
REASON (Paranoia stays focused on the gun while Reason walks towards the bed and starts packing the suitcase with the clothing from the dresser) I really don’t know. You realize the gun could be there to instigate some sort of conflict, right? It might not actually be here to kill someone…… Perhaps it’s meant to be some sort of pet!
PARANOIA A pet gun? Whoever heard of a pet gun?
REASON You’ve never heard the phrase “Happiness is a warm gun?”
PARANOIA Whoever came up with that must have been deeply disturbed
REASON Probably
PARANOIA Either way, do you never watch movies? Whenever there’s a gun present, someone gets shot! That’s the way it works.
REASON Perhaps I should point out that this isn’t a movie?
PARANOIA It doesn’t matter. We’re still here to entertain them, aren’t we?
REASON I doubt they care either way. We could shoot the gun at them, and they’d sit there laughing thinking it was part of the show.
PARANOIA Until one of them died… See, even if that were the case, someone would get shot. That’s my point.
REASON You have a pretty limited world view, don’t you?
PARANOIA I resent that! I watch plenty of educational TV! Enough to know that chances are someone put that gun here so we would kill each other trying to figure out why it was here!
REASON You really need to lay off the caffeine
PARANOIA (Walks over to dinner table, picks up tea cup) You gonna drink this?
REASON Nope, but I’m guessing you are.
PARANOIA (Drinking tea, picks up a cookie from the kitchen table and starts eating it) So nothing about this situation concerns you? It doesn’t bother you that they’re watching us? It doesn’t worry you that there’s a gun on the coffee table? You don’t want to know the meaning of all of this?
REASON Nope.
PARANOIA You’re fine with just letting things happen as they’re going to happen?
REASON Who said I believe in fate?
PARANOIA You don’t believe in fate? Then how do you explain the fact that we’re standing here having this conversation? How do you explain the people watching us? How do you explain any of it?
REASON I can’t explain it. I firmly believe, however, that although I don’t have the ability to change any of that, I do have the ability to change my own actions. I can choose to talk to you, or I can choose to be silent. I can choose to drink tea, or I can choose not to. I can choose to be paranoid, or I can choose to be reasonable. And most of all, I can choose to be controlled by outside influences, or I can choose to take my life into my own hands. It’s all a matter of choice.
PARANOIA Oh come on… this is all a big plot to crush us. They don’t want us to succeed, so there’s no way we’re going to. We’re just a spectacle for them to watch… a show for their entertainment! We’re doomed to tragedy!
REASON Or comedy?
PARANOIA Or comedy! But their idea of comedy always ends up with someone getting hurt. We live in a violent society these days! Children are brought up watching so much killing on TV that they have no choice but to find humour in it! The fact is, tragedy or comedy, we’re fucked either way!
REASON Whatever you say
PARANOIA Whatever I say? It’s not about what I say! It’s about what’s destined to happen…
REASON (Finally sounding annoyed, closes the suitcase violently) Then why do you even care? If it’s destined to happen, and you can’t change it, then what does it even matter? Why are you spending so much time trying to figure it out if you’re one hundred percent positive that there’s nothing you can do to change it? You’re just wasting your time if that’s the case, and you’re making quite the fool of yourself by being contradictory!
PARANOIA (shocked at the sudden outburst, pausing for a moment, then sounding even more paranoid then before) You…..you put the gun there, didn’t you? You were planning this all along! You knew this would happen!!! And now you’re going to leave me (gesturing at suitcase) … and what, I’m supposed to shoot myself? What kind of sick twisted person are you?
REASON Just listen to yourself, man! You’ve gone off the deep end. I didn’t put that gun there, someone else did. And yes, I’m leaving. You want to know why? Because I can!!! I’ve made a decision, and now I’m following through with it. It’s called action. It’s what drives our lives forward. You have the ability to make decisions too, but you choose not to. You choose to obsess over questions that have no answers… and if they do have answers, you ignore them, and insist that the answers, which are blatantly obvious to everyone but you, are false. You’re in denial, and you need to wake up and smell the coffee you hid in the couch.
PARANOIA So this is it then? You’re just going to leave me?
REASON (sits on edge of stage) Actually, I’m just leaving here… if you want to come, you’re more than welcome.
PARANOIA That’s just a trick isn’t it? You’re probably going to kill me in some back alley somewhere!
REASON Believe what you want, the offer’s there.
PARANOIA I’d prefer to stay alive, thank you.
REASON I thought one of us had to get shot?
PARANOIA …
REASON Well, I’m off (Jumps off stage, leaves through crowd)
PARANOIA (goes and sits on the couch) I knew this was a tragedy.
(Curtain closes, gunshot can be heard)