byte-smasher's domain

The key to blogging like a successful new media e-begger

BYTE-Smasher — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 16:00:02 +0000

So apparently the key to blogging is not to write about what you know, but to write about what you don’t know… specifically, what you’re learning. It seems I still have something to learn about blogging, so I thought I’d share that little gem with all of you. It seems I’m simply too shortsighted and self centered to realize that what I’m currently involved in learning about the universe may indeed be of use to someone else as well. ZOMG I’M SELF DEPRECATING… OH SHI… I WENT THERE :O … how uncouth and zomgemo of me.

Seriously though, I’m sick and tired of trying to figure out WHAT to say for fear that I’ve got nothing of interest to say. Of late, I’ve been trying to figure out HOW the new media people do what they do, all the while attracting an audience, and I think I’ve settled on one fact: They just do shit. They do shit, and people take notice if they’re interested. So fuck it… I’m gonna stop worrying and just do shit.

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Evolution made these things too ugly for predators to consider chowing down on

The more I write, the funnier I’ll become, and the better I’ll be able to make lame jokes about mudkips and Chuck Norris. By the way, Chuck called and he wants his life back. He told me to tell all of you that he’s not some sort of omnipotent martial arts superman, and all the positive press he’s getting is really cramping his style because he’s having a hard time living up to his fan-constructed public persona.

In other news, I’m going to be lurking tvtropes.com for lulz fodder in hopes of actually doing some sketch comedy for the intarwebbernets. If anyone has any ideas for things that may be funny, please let me know, because I’m completely stumped as to how to make people laugh. I even went so far this morning as to consider doing a sketch about Thunder Bay tourists eating cats because of an extreme semantical misunderstanding. I then came to my senses and realized that Persians are quite expensive and too ugly to eat.

Defend the Syndicate – Met your Match

BYTE-Smasher — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 10:15:35 +0000

Here’s the second track in my mastering portfolio, an instrumental demo for a local band, Defend the Syndicate. This was another premixed track, so I didn’t get a chance to flex my mixing muscles… but I think it turned out great anyway. I have to say though, I would have loved to have had a chance to mix everything separately, as the bass kick really overpowered the entire mix to start off. I have a feeling I could have made the bass much more solid sounding if I’d had the stems to work with.

Andrew Edwards – Holiday Parade

BYTE-Smasher — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:08:00 +0000

I’ve decided to start offering bare-bones mastering services to local bands …..gratis. Why would I do such a thing, you ask? Because I wouldn’t mind doing it for money eventually, but first I need to build a portfolio… and local bands just need some more exposure in general. It’s hard to get noticed by labels when your demo doesn’t shine… and you shouldn’t have to pay thousands of dollars for a pro mastering job just to get rejected by the label.

So here’s the first submission I received for mastering, a track by Andrew Edwards called “Holiday Parade”. Hit the triangular “play” button to hear the song, and toggle the mastered/unmastered version by clicking on the respective word…. pretty self explanatory really

Perfect waste of a website

BYTE-Smasher — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:22:06 +0000

That about sums up my feelings toward this site at the moment. It shall possibly become of use once my album is done, but for now, it lays wasted. If anyone actually checks back here occasionally to see if I’ve posted, please comment so I know whether it’s worth my time to continue posting occasionally. I’m fairly sure most of the people who would be interested in seeing me post here interact with me on facebook a fair bit as it is.

Facebook. The death of the personal website. My creative energies are falling on blind eyes.

iTouch myself

BYTE-Smasher — Sun, 17 May 2009 23:30:25 +0000

This post comes to you from my shiny new iPod touch! Unfortunately, typing on such a device is still somewhat cumbersome, alas, I’m keeping this short. Good day all! Most likely unrelated posts:BYTE-Smasher’s Domain v3.0 is here…. sorta Finally got bytesmasher.com registered, after all these years…… yay! I’m...BYTE-Smasher I’ve been dabbling with digital sound production for [...]

wrongdiagnosis.com, an apt name indeed

BYTE-Smasher — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:55:13 +0000

Symptom Checker
Results: 1 cause of Lack of energy AND Runny nose

Cocaine abuse

Stimulant drug with various effects…read more »

… I shit you not.

Spark

BYTE-Smasher — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:43:04 +0000

eloquence
is in essence
a consequence
of having to express one’s self
in manners that transcend the noise of nonsense
spreading common sense through complex rhythm and rhyme
so your message can be heard through the deadly decay of time
but death is part of life, you know
it’s the part that makes our creativity flow
for the finite nature of being
helps us appreciate the infinite possibilities of now
so please don’t let the unknown scare
for you are here, you’re not yet there
and the present is a present
though it takes some assembly
and instructions are not included
though in truth they need not be
because it’s truly you that makes the time
not god or others
so use it wise
and when your fears have come to pass
you can rest assured, at last
that your spark was well worth it

Niggy Tardust’s extraordinary plan

BYTE-Smasher — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:29:37 +0000

“Niggy Tardust was a man with an extraordinary plan
to infect the masses, and their comatose asses

their minds had gone astray from their essence and so they
were listening to charlatans, submitting to decay

he thought ‘if only I could catch their eyes
I’d tell them that they mattered, and that they should deny
the lies that they’ve been spoon-fed since our culture went awry

to all the things they disagree, they should loudly reply
to commands of the cash machine, they shouldn’t dare comply

they should discard their pointless fears and reclaim all their rights
they should wake up to their unity, and they should cease to fight

they should listen to themselves and realize that they’re alright
they should support their own views instead of caving in to fright

maybe then we could dismantle institutions that enslave us
and demote the silly, angry men we let indoctrinate us

and maybe then, just maybe, we could find a love of all
that negated every border… that tore down every wall

and nobody would be on guard, just waiting for a fall
we’d all support each other
and what’s more

we’d cease to blindly poison, rape and destroy all our land
we’d only take what we could hold in the palm of our hand
we’d share the rest, and work to build a green technology
and greed would cease to be because we’d no longer envy
and security would rest upon the global sense of love
and knowing that it doesn’t matter what lies after or above’

and so, brave Niggy Tardust, he went out into the world
and instead of simply preaching, being sheppard to the herd
he became a good example of the person you should be
and infected many asses
and that many includes me
and I woke up to a knowledge that my words, they really count
though the odds of changing everything are quite hard to surmount
every one I touch with my ideas slightly changes
and change spreads fairly quickly
like a virus, it’s contagious
and though this rhyme may seem a bit cliche and quite outrageous
I hope that it will stick with you, and make you more courageous
’cause Niggy’s only one person, and with me, that makes two
but add you in, and that makes three, from there you can imbue
your newfound sense of self purpose to many more anew”

and from that funny bit of prose, the idea it just grew
and this is how the world did change, from just a few that knew
that a global shift in consciouses was well, well overdue
and now we pass the torch along, my child, it goes to you

Cartoon character anatomy

BYTE-Smasher — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:41:05 +0000

I can has bones bunny?

Bones Bunny

http://thenoisingmachine.wordpress.com/2008/10/05/the-skeletons-of-cartoon-characters/

The Funk

BYTE-Smasher — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:59:05 +0000

The Funk
it’s the force that makes you move
            makes you groove
      makes you jump like you’ve got nothing to prove
until you’ve
      lost recollection of daily grind
and then you’re one with the music of space and time
you’re on your way to the sublime
             you see,
funk’s not a genre but a state of mind
      a state of being
and it seems that you’re one with the funk now
it’s like you’re drunk with the knowledge that you don’t need your know-how
          when you’re filled with the boogie, hop, hustle and jive
it’s the grooving of the rhythm that keeps you alive
   it’s the movement of the breakdown that makes you thrive
       and if you get up to the funkay you will arrive
                   to that funky little place in outer space
                where every funky monkey is full of grace
         and every lake and river is made of bass
and even when the music stops in it’s place
   you don’t lose that funk that you embraced
       those feelings of solitude are replaced
            by the funky interconnectedness of the human race